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This blog is created to give you a central location to answer any questions you have about my current and upcoming treatments and reactions. It is also created to help me make Lemonade out of the Lemons I have been given, so I will keep this as positive as I can.







Thursday, November 18, 2010

How do you say it?

Oh... By The Way... I have Cancer...

I guess I have grown a little bit "comfortable" with my diagnosis. Is this a bad thing? I am not sure... I suppose I am mostly comfortable in the knowledge that most everyone I deal with on a daily basis knows that I have Breast Cancer, and most of them are over the shock. While it is still very real to me and to those around me on a daily basis it has put me in a weird place.
Today I went in to work for the first time since I have become bald. And this is the one place that not everyone I see throughout the day knows of my current status. And I was faced with the questioning looks of people in the halls or bathroom wondering if I am just weird or if I am bald for a reason. (in the building I work that is often a  good question...) Some people would give me that "disapproving over the rim of their glasses" look, while others seemed to give me a "knowing" look as if they either understood or cared. I am not sure which since they were just passing glances, and no words were exchanged. None of these made me uncomfortable since their opinion does not make any difference to how I live my life, but it was hard when one of my co-workers cheerfully asked if I had shaved my head for "Locks-of-Love" (for anyone not familiar, it is the foundation that allows people to donate their hair to make wigs for Cancer patients) I replied with a smile telling him why I had done it. I tried to keep it upbeat, and I think I succeeded, hopefully, but it did cause him the surprise of a lifetime and hopefully he didn't feel bad about his query, there is no way he would have known. I did better on my second encounter of the day. I was on my way out and was shocked by an old friend who I haven't seen in YEARS!!! I was so excited to see her, and I was a lot more comfortable in telling her the reason for my baldness somehow.
I don't like to share the news anymore because it goes back to them being in shock, and I want them to just be familiar. Is there a way I can send some sort of broadcast message to everyone I have ever known that just in case they run into me in the store or anywhere else that they can just not be shocked, and I don't have to tell them the news.
No-one should take this in the wrong way, I am fine with talking about it with anyone who wants to talk, but I am just not a fan of the initial introduction of the topic if I have to do it. :)

3 comments:

  1. MElanie, how did you get so amazing? You have a great attitude about the nasty Cancer! I love ya dearly girl! Maybe you could wear a big poster that says, "Yep, you guessed it? I have Cancer!" Maybe we could print a tee shirt... I could wear one too that says my good friend has cancer in the twins... That would work... Okay maybe not!
    Anyway, love ya girl!

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  2. I agree with the shirt idea. There should be shirts for all kinds of things.
    "Yep, you guessed it? I have Cancer!"
    "Having a sucky day, help me out or get over it!"
    "Yes, I like children but can't seem to get pregnant"
    "No, I'm not ready to have children yet!"
    "My children are not perfect at all times but since yours are maybe you should take mine on for a while."
    And Tara would love this one after a skating competition.
    "Yes, as a matter of fact I do have some kind of weird skin disorder and it is contagious, you get it from staring too much!

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  3. Melanie - You are a ROCK STAR!!! Way to stay positive and 'keeping it cool' when you headed back to work! I'm continually praying for you!!! :D

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